Monday, October 31, 2011

Trick Or Treat

Ladies and gentlemen, for your reading pleasure this Halloween evening, I give you a micro-story written with the invaluable help of our dear friend Thalia.

Before we begin, I'd just like to point out that the Friend-Gets-Friend competition is now officially CLOSED. I'll spend the next day or so compiling all the names of the people who took part, and then I'll pick ten random winners.

But for now, my Minions, here's Tanith and Billy-Ray, in Trick Or Treat.



Tanith wiped the blood off the carving knife and, ignoring the body of the man she had just stabbed to death, went back to carving her jack-o-lantern.

Her skill with a blade always came in useful this time of year. While other people would be satisfied with triangular eyes and jagged teeth, Tanith transformed her Halloween pumpkins into works of slowly-rotting art. Tonight, she was carving a portrait of her dear friend and object of worship Valkyrie Cain. By all accounts, poor Valkyrie still refused to embrace her destiny as destroyer of the world, but Tanith could forgive her this little bout of self-doubt. After all, if Tanith herself hadn’t been corrupted by a Remnant then she would have been helping Val run from the inevitable.

It was the Remnant inside her, the thing of cruelty and nastiness, that had shared with Tanith this vision of the future, when Valkyrie would become Darquesse and burn all life to a cinder. It had been a glorious revelation, one that had spurred Tanith on to schemes and plans she had never before thought herself capable. But the fact was there were no more Remnants out there. Her kith and kin were all trapped and locked away and hidden from her- so Tanith was on her own. More or less. She had a Texan psychopath who was besotted with her, and there were times when he certainly did come in useful. But she didn’t love him. Her love was reserved for Darquesse, and Darquesse alone.

She put down the carving knife and picked up a candle, placed it carefully inside the jack-o-lantern. She lit it and stepped back. It was a good likeness. No, it was a great likeness. Valkyrie was such a pretty girl, and Tanith had to resist the urge to take a picture and send it to her. But she knew that Valkyrie would only tell Skulduggery, and Skulduggery would trace the picture back here to this small town in Ohio, and suddenly there’d be Cleavers, Cleavers everywhere. It was all so unfair. All Tanith wanted to do was protect Darquesse from the people who were planning on harming her, after all. She was on Valkyrie’s side, in a way. Why couldn’t Val see that?

Headlights looped in around the room, and Tanith went to the window, looked out. A battered old car lurched to a stop outside the house next door, and a shabby middle-aged man climbed out. As she watched him hitch his trousers higher around his waist, Tanith made sure to keep her mind calm and free of violent thought. There were Sensitives who could pick up feelings of hostility, and while she didn’t know if Jerry Ordain was one of them, she couldn’t take the chance. There was too much riding on tonight to risk a stray thought at the wrong time. The fact that he came home at all meant that he hadn’t foreseen tonight’s events, and that was a promising start.

Of course, it was entirely possible that Jerry knew full well she was there, and he had a trap waiting for her the moment she made a move. But that was the trouble with Sensitives- it was very hard to sneak up on them.

She took her sword from the table and left through the back door. She sprung lightly over the fence, landed without a sound in Jerry’s yard as lights flicked on in the house. She crept to the window. No sign of an ambush. She saw Jerry ambling into the kitchenette. If he sensed her watching him, he gave no sign.

Taking a breath, Tanith moved to the door, and rested her hand against the lock. It clicked open and she moved in silently. Jerry was a bachelor, and lived like it. The house smelled of dust and old socks. She slid her sword from its scabbard and walked up the wall. Those floorboards were old and she didn’t trust them not to creak. She crept upside-down along the ceiling, careful not to disturb the bulb as she passed it or cast her shadow onto her target. Jerry had his back to her, and was making himself a massive sandwich. She reached the far wall and walked down until she was standing normally again. He still didn’t turn around. She took out her phone, sent a text. A few moments later, Billy-Ray Sanguine rose up from the floor beside her.

They waited for Jerry to sense the hostility that only a psychopath of Sanguine’s stature could muster- the kind of hostility that he could never conceal, no matter how hard he tried. Instead, Jerry continued making his sandwich. Tanith was impressed at how cool and collected he was. It was almost as if he wasn’t even aware of their presence. Jerry started humming to himself, and Sanguine looked at her. She frowned back. Now it really seemed like he wasn’t aware of their presence.

Once he had piled every conceivable type of meat onto his sandwich, Jerry cut off the crusts, and then sliced it down the middle. He picked up one half, raised it slowly to his mouth and bit into it as he turned. He saw them and shrieked, spitting it all out again as he stumbled back against the fridge. A bit of lettuce hung wetly off his chin.

“Hi,” said Tanith. “Just checking- you are Jerry Ordain, right?”

The man stood there, eyes bulging. “Whuh,” he said.

“Jerry Ordain? You are Jerry the psychic, aren’t you?”

He shook his head. The piece of lettuce fell away. “No. Not me. No. Wrong person.”

“Then who are you?” Sanguine asked.

The man gaped at him. “Me?”

It was Jerry. It was obviously Jerry, from the look on his face as his fear-frozen mind tried coming up with a false name. “I’m... I’m...”

Sanguine added an edge to his voice. “What’s your damn name?”

“Jerry!” Jerry blurted. “But not the Jerry you’re looking for! I’m a different Jerry!”

Jerry had to be the worst liar Tanith had ever met.

“I’ll get him, though,” Jerry said, stepping sideways. “If you stay right there I’ll get him. Just stay there. I’ll be right back, with Jerry. The Jerry you’re looking for.”

Sanguine strolled over to intercept him, and Jerry reversed direction, started heading for the window.

“Make yourselves at home,” he was saying. “Want a sandwich? I just made a sandwich. You can have my sandwich. I won’t be long. Thirty seconds, tops.”

“Jerry,” Tanith said, “we’ve come a long way to talk to you.”

He shook his head. “”You’ve come a long way to talk to the other Jerry...”

Tanith showed him her sword. Jerry stared. And then he bolted for the window.

In his haste, however, he completely forgot about the coffee table, and when his shin smacked into it he barely had time to howl before his face hit the floor. Tanith watched him contort in pain, one hand at his shin, the other covering his mouth. He’d bitten his tongue. She winced. She hated that.

Tears in his eyes, Jerry launched himself up and ran into the wall. He rebounded impressively, gave a little whirl, and staggered to the window. Clumsy hands fumbled at the latch. He finally raised it, glanced behind him to make sure he still had time, and in that moment the window closed. Jerry turned back and dove into the glass, cracking it and careering backwards. He collapsed onto the rug and curled up into a sobbing, moaning ball.

“Pleathe,” he lisped, “shtop hurting me.”

Tanith sighed. “We haven’t touched you, Jerry.”

“I seen a lot of things in my time,” Sanguine said, “but I ain’t never seen a man beat himself up before. That was highly entertainin’.”

Tanith walked over to Jerry as he continued to sob. 

“Pleathe don’t kill me.”

“Don’t worry,” Tanith said, her voice soothing. “We weren’t planning on it.”

Sanguine looked at her, surprised. “We weren’t? Why not? He’s clearly an idiot.”

She glared. “We’re not here to hurt anyone. We’re here to ask some questions and leave.”

“But we’ll be killin’ him before we go, won’t we?”

Jerry squealed softly.

“No we won’t,” Tanith insisted. “Violence is not always the answer, Billy-Ray. This time, Jerry here gets to live out the rest of his life in peace- understand?”

“Barely.”

She hunkered down and patted Jerry on the shoulder. “Don’t mind him, Jerry. He’s cranky. He’s used to being the only American in my life, but now there’s you. Jealousy is a terrible thing in a grown man, isn’t it?”

“I ain’t jealous.”

“Of course not, dear. Jerry, what do you say you answer our questions and then we leave you alone? Does that sound good to you?”

Jerry nodded.

“Good man. How’s your tongue?”

“I bith it.”

“I can see that.”

“Ith bleeding.”

“I can see that too.”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Ith it bad?”

His tongue was bloody and horrible. She took a small leaf from her coat, and placed it delicately into his mouth. “Don’t say anything for a few seconds. Let that heal.”

Jerry blinked at her. His eyes were wet. He wasn’t an impressive human being.

“Show me,” she said, and he stuck his tongue out again. She nodded. “It’s healing. It was only a small bite. Now you can answer our questions, can’t you?”

He nodded, and she stood.

“You’re involved with a group of people, aren’t you? A group of sorcerers from different Sanctuaries around the world.”

“How... how did you know that?”

“I’ve spent the last few months asking a lot of people a lot of questions. See, I figured there’d be someone out there who would be trying to do something about Darquesse before she even turned up. That’s when I heard your name for the first time. You’re a psychic, aren’t you Jerry?”

“I... I prefer the term clairvoyant.”

Tanith did her best not to roll her eyes. “Clairvoyant, of course. And as a clairvoyant, you would have seen visions of Darquesse.”

“Of course,” Jerry said, nodding. He was still on the floor, but he was sitting a little straighter now. His chest puffed out slightly. “Even low-level Sensitives picked up something. For a clairvoyant of my ability, it was a veritable tsunami of images and sensations and emotions. Very powerful.”

“What did you see?”

“I saw death.”

Sanguine gave a barely-suppressed sigh.

“What do you mean?” Tanith asked, smiling at Jerry.

“I saw a city destroyed. Streets cracked and broken. Buildings burning. And I saw her. I saw Darquesse.”

“Did you see her face?”

“Alas, no, I did not,” said Jerry, and Tanith resisted smacking him for using the word alas in an irony-free context. “But there is no doubt in my mind that it was her. Ten foot tall, she was. A terrible sight to behold.”

“Ten foot tall?” Sanguine asked.

Jerry nodded. “Oh yes. Easily. And the way she moved... like a cat.”

Sanguine frowned behind his sunglasses. “What, on all fours?”

“Pardon me?”

Sanguine continued. “I heard from another psychic- sorry, clairvoyant- that Darquesse had long black fingernails that she used to cut off people’s heads. Did you see that?”

Jerry nodded. “It was awful.”

“And she shot laser beams out of her eyes.”

“Well,” Jerry said with a shrug, “I don’t know if they were laser beams, but yes. Devastating blasts, they were.”

“This clairvoyant friend of ours,” Sanguine continued, “he also caught a glimpse of red hair beneath her cloak. Did you see that? Don’t worry if you didn’t. Our friend is probably the most powerful Sensitive in the world, I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t see as much as him.”

“Red hair?” Jerry said. “Yes. Yes, I saw that too, now that you mention it. Long, tousled red hair.”

“He said it was straight.”

“Long straight red hair, yes.”

“He said it was short.”

“Short straight red hair, that’s what I meant to say.”

Sanguine looked at Tanith, who glowered and poked Jerry. He screamed. She had poked him with her sword.

“You’re lying to us,” she said. He screamed again. “We don’t have a psychic friend. Billy-Ray made all that stuff up. You didn’t see a vision, did you?”

She twisted the sword and his screams reached a new pitch. “No! No I didn’t! I’m sorry! Please stop stabbing me!”

She withdrew the sword, and wiped the tip of the blade on his shirt. “Are you even a Sensitive, Jerry?”

“I am,” he whimpered, cradling his wound, “but I’m not a very good one. Sometimes... sometimes I can predict the weather, if it’s a nice day.”

“Is it going to rain tomorrow?” Sanguine asked.

“I don’t know,” Jerry confessed. “I can only predict a few minutes into the future. Most of the time I have to watch the forecast like everyone else.”

“You,” Sanguine said, “are the worst psychic I’ve ever met.”

“Does anyone else know that you’re a fraud?” asked Tanith.

“No,” Jerry said, sobbing. “I’ve managed to keep them fooled. It hasn’t been easy, but whenever they ask me to look into the future I always try to be as vague as possible. I talk about shadows and death and ominous feelings, and they generally infer their own meanings onto that and then leave me alone.”

“So when this group of sorcerers asked you to find out more about Darquesse,” Tanith said, “you basically just copied what every other Sensitive was saying?”

“Essentially, yes,” Jerry said. “Can I have a bandage? I’m bleeding quite badly here.”

“First you tell us what they’re planning, and then we’ll see about bandages.”

“I’m losing a lot of blood.”

Tanith let the veins rise beneath her skin, and her black lips curled into a smile. “Tell us what they’re planning.”

Jerry paled, his face going slack. “Yes. Yes, of course. They’re going after weapons. Four weapons, that they think could hurt Darquesse.”

“Where are these weapons?”

“Scattered,” said Jerry. “All over the world. They’re going to go after them.”

“And you know where they’re goin’?” Sanguine asked.

“I have a list of the possible locations.” Jerry took out his wallet, rifled through it, came out with a crumpled piece of paper.

Tanith took it from him, examined it, and nodded. “Looks like we won’t be needing you anymore.”

He brightened. “So that’s it? I can go?”

She pulled him to his feet. “You can go,” she smiled, and her sword flashed and she took off his head.

“You,” Sanguine said, “are delicious when you’re vicious.”

She gave him a smirk, and led the way to the front door. She opened it and froze.

Six little children in Halloween outfits looked up at her.

“Trick or treat,” said the little witch. Surrounding the witch was a pirate, a zombie, a vampire, a Mad Hatter and a rabbit. They rattled their buckets.

“Uh,” said Tanith.

Sanguine appeared at her elbow, and grinned at the kids. “Look,” he said, “there’s a little zombie. Smells a darn sight better than the real thing, doesn’t he? And a vampire! Doesn’t she look cute? And a rabbit!” He faltered. “A rabbit. That... that ain’t exactly scary, though, is it?”

The rabbit looked up at him. “It is if you’re scared of rabbits.”

Tanith nodded. “You’ve got to admit, he makes a good point.”

“You talk funny,” said the witch. “Where are you from?”

Tanith smiled. “I’m from London.”

The pirate frowned. “Is that in France?”

The Mad Hatter scowled. “It’s in England, dummy.” He looked at Tanith. “You’re English. Why do you have a sword?”

“Because I’m an English ninja,” Tanith replied. “We’re just like regular ninjas, except we wear leather and flirt more.”

The kids nodded, satisfied with the definition, and then rattled their buckets again. “Trick or treat,” they chorused.

“This actually isn’t our house,” Tanith told them, “but whatever you find in there, is yours to keep.”

The pirate perked up. “Even the TV?”

“Especially the TV.”

The kids glanced at each other, then stormed the house. Tanith waited a moment, watching them approach Jerry’s headless corpse warily. The rabbit hesitated, then nudged Jerry’s head with his fluffy foot. The head rolled in its own blood, and the rabbit shrugged. “That’s so fake,” he said, and turned to help the pirate with the TV.

4,844 comments:

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Anonymous said...

I LOVE IT ! XD

Lois Lane said...

Can I just say that this is adorable (and gruesome and amazing and such)? Love the cynical little trick-or-treaters! <3

Also, are any other Americans here doing NaNoWriMo? (At least, I think it's an American thing, I don't really know.)

Lois Lane said...

Just kidding. I should probably start reading the comments before I ask questions.

Lilie said...

Like all your books and short stories, and basicly every thing you wright is!

Lilie said...

G2g Bye!

Alexa Lawless said...

Is anyone around?

Shadow Whispers said...

I am It's nice to meet you! I'm procrastinating from NaNo.... I don't wanna write anymore today! But I have to :(

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I'm not going to do nano....

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Tanith low is scarily fun when she is like that....

Alexa Lawless said...

Hey guys. Does anyone know how to pick a door lock?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Nope, but try a hanger,,,, maybe.....

How r u digi? Why do u nee to pick a lock?

Alexa Lawless said...

I've locked myself out of the house and I really, really need the bathroom.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I g2g soz!!

Alexa Lawless said...

IT'S NOT FUNNY! I'm dying here!

Alexa Lawless said...

Update: All is well, I've managed to break back into my own house.

Noelle said...

Ah bless :)
i loved it, Derek. LOL. first, no school today, and now this? PLUS LOADS OF CANDY??? AWESOME!
Ah, Billy-Ray, how we've all missed you.
I've really enjoyed that.

And THALIA IS FROM OHIO??? I LIVE IN CINCINNATI!!!!!!! WOAHHHH! HOW COOL!!! <3
So pumped for the Friend gets Friend. YAY!

Go bananas B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
~Adrasdos Dark

. said...

Wow derek! That. Was. Awesome.
Why can't i write like this?! *cries in pain and gets hugs from other minions*

Invisible_Fly said...

Hi everyone. Anyone here?

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






























I WROTE A HALLOWEEN STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS ON MY BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!CHECK IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx






















!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



:D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hi peoplz

Invisible_Fly said...

Hi Cassidy! :D Isn't Halloween great? Everyone gets so many good story ideas. How're you doing?

nights.raven said...

hey everyone

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

hey flame hey fly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1


yes halloween is great i
have a story and im about to post it on my blog so check it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hey nights

Invisible_Fly said...

I'll check out your story the next time I have a spare. I'm only really able to jump back and forth from the blog to my lecture. We're learning about cells :P

hey Flame, hey raven :)

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

*hugs* fly cool...

Nights how r u?

How r u cass?

nights.raven said...

hey flame
hey fly
hey cassidy

nights.raven said...

im fine, u?

Invisible_Fly said...

*hugs flame back*

I'm pretty okay. Just trying to figure out my future XD University is stupid. I miss grade school XP

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Good...

I have a great idea for a Halloween story but I ain't near a comp... On ipod

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

hey raven!!!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

@ fly, what do u wanna be?

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

@Flame thanks im fine how are u?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

And should u really be here during a Uni lecture?

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

http://skulduggerypleasant400.blogspot.com/2011/11/halloween-fanfic.html



Your Fellow Minion Needs You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Invisible_Fly said...

@Flame I want to be a counselling psychologist. At first, I wanted to be a grief counselor, but I'm not emotionally strong enough to be around sad people all the time. I tend to "absorb" other people's emotions really quickly and start feeling what they're feeling, even if there's no need for me to feel sad or happy or angry :P So I just want to be a counselling psychologist, someone who people can talk to when they have issues they need to talk about in confidentiality. But if I open my own practice, I'd make it more available to individuals who may not have the health insurance or coverage for it.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I can't look sorry, iPod is stupid with links...

Invisible_Fly said...

I'm just switching back and forth from the blog to the lecture. The prof talks slowly, and I can hear what he's saying while I type here.

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

its fine flame !!! :D

Invisible_Fly said...

Before I wanted to be a psychologist, I wanted to study in cancer research, but I'm not sure if I'm smart enough to do the work. I'm still figuring out what I'm doing.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

*hugs cass*

I'm sad as I have to go home from my aunties house when everyone of my relatives is here for the rest of the week :(....

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

bye bye blogland!!! im off to smell my chocolate and decide what lollipop i shall eat first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 :D


i shall be on later i think :L !!! x

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Bye bye Cassidy,,,,

Invisible_Fly said...

Mmmm lollipops...
Bye cassidy

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I have loads...

Invisible_Fly said...

I gtg guys. I'll see you lovelies later. Bye bye <3 Bye flame :)

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Bye Ill leave aswell, byeeeeeeeeeee!!

Sparky Braginski said...

GR. I missed him again.

Mary Contrary said...

BAH-HA-HA-HA-HAA!

I LOVE IT!
(Especially the end - I really liked from 'Six little children in Halloween outfits looked up at her' to the very last line)
(And the beginning - Particularly Thalia's line)
(Oh, and the middle, that was great too)
(And.. Well, Basically, It was all really epic)

And it's so great to see Tanith again! (even if she is still remnantified)

And, Thalia, congratulations! That's such an Epic/awesome/fanstastical line!

Unknown said...

anyone??

Mary Contrary said...

Hello Crystal!!
I don't think we've met before...?
In which case, Nice to meet you!
*offers Crystal a cookie*

Unknown said...

no one?? okay then byebye!!

Unknown said...

oh sorry didn't see u there!!!!!!!!
I don't think we have! *eats cookie* nice to meet u too!!

Invisible_Fly said...

Back again. Not sure if anyone's actually on.

I lost my water bottle :( I got it during frosh week and now it's gone :'( It was such a good water bottle too. Small, compact, fun. I'll miss it T_T

Unknown said...

Aw poor u fly. I've never had a hot water bottle. They sound nice....................

Valice said...

okay, this is a little, well... lets say morbid but it is stil kind of genius. Aw, I hope that Skulduggery and Val will be able to help Tanith so she'll be normal again. And i hope that she'll kick Sanguin very, very hard when she's not obsessed any more...

Unknown said...

Fly are u there? I'm gonna go k? Be back later maybe, BYE!

Unknown said...

Valice i think you mean possesed not obsessed :)
But ur right i do hope tanith comes back normally i think nye will help her too :)
Now i g2g byeeeeeeeee

SamPleasant said...

"She pulled him to his feet. “You can go,” she smiled, and her sword flashed and she took off his head." That was the sentence that i read over&over again. that was the sentence that made me realise. that was the sentence that made me cry. Tanith is gone. Lost.

Love you Derek Landy. Skulduggery is my god. Can't believe it's only a nine book seris. i wan you to make new skulduggery books for ever. Keep doing what your doing. Love Skulduggery, Love Valkyrie, Love China, Love tanith, Love ghastly, Love ravel. Yeah this is random but my favourite character is China. Hated what derek did to her in death bringer. hope skulduggery&valkyrie forgive her. And my worst character is either Eliza Scorn or Bill-Ray,. Eliza for what she did to China and Billy-Ray because he took Tanith away. ( WOW THAT RHYMES) anyway, goodday feelow minions.

Unknown said...

Haha it does rhyme! lol

Alice Rose ♥ x said...

I think the sanguin guy is pretty cool, I mean his love for his straight razor is like me and my ipod, pocky, boots, and hot chocolate.
And he DID save Val in Mortal Coil.

ASDFGHJKWEDCXYUIO less than 3 days till FRIDAY! AND THE COMP WINNER IS ANNOUNCED! AND I GO TO MY CONVENTION.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hello blogginess land....

Sparky Braginski said...

Hello, Flame. How is my least favourite Phoenix right now?

Sparky Braginski said...

Gone? No matter.

*waits tapping foot for Flame to give in*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Oh, very good, actually still loving tanith more than a certain electrical girl who is just, WELL jealous

Sparky Braginski said...

Hardly...

I do believe that I have certain powers...

*stops tapping foot, walks into room, comes back out with TNT*

Well, not powers exactly but y'know, close enough.

Sparky Braginski said...

*adds dimensional ripper to bomb*

I WILL use this dude... I will attach it to your face and make it go BOOM. Do you want that? Cause you can avoid it. IF YOU GIVE IN.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

how contrare, I have real powers sone beyond your imagination, and a quite sharp machete and and a silver chain which can bind anything....

*cuts fuse*. You could kill blogland, what use would that be...

Sparky Braginski said...

*fixes fuse*

Alright, you did this- I will make a hole in the universe on your FACE.

*super glues bomb to Flame's face*

Ready?

*puts on timer*'

One minute- your face is no more.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

How about this....


I won't admit if this thing is stuck to my face, as I will have no mouth if it goes off..


*melts superglue and bomb falls away*

Sparky Braginski said...

BOOOM!

It blew up.

At your feet.

You don't have feet anymore.

Your feet are now a hole in the universe. So there.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky Braginski said...

Too late dude, you don't don't have any feet to stamp with.

*XD*

NOW ADMIT THAT I LIKE HER BETTER AND I WILL GIVE YOUR FEET BACK.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

*you don't have that power*

*calls nye*

me- "It will u patch my feet up?"

Nye- "sure..."

*patches feet* so ha

Sparky Braginski said...

...

*incredibly irritated*

...

...

*walks into soundproof room and starts screaming*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

*laughs happily* give up ms. Braginski, and let me do the bragging, I will never give up.... I find this amusing!

*incredibly amused*

Sparky Braginski said...

Must leave. WON'T GIVE IN. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


*shoots fireworks at everything moving*

Good Day.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Bye bye taniths no. second fan

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

*No2 fan

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Anybodies on?

Ophelia said...

I WAS THE MAD HATTER FOR HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!
This story made me miss Tanith even more.....
Happy day of the dead

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hi opheilia niCe to meet you...

*gives cookie*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Alrite noone

Unknown said...

U still there flame?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I am ;)

Unknown said...

Hello then :) How're u?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hi, how r u? I'm fine....

Did u see sparky's comments, we're having a feud...

Unknown said...

Sorry flame i have to go :( I will be on tomorrow though. Bye bye

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Poor me ;(

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

No1? Please?

Sorcha said...

YAY, Tainth! I missed her sooooo much, even though she's still evil, I LOVE HER!!!! Plus she's still funny =))

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey falme how r u ???

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I'm fine u? *hugs*

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

*Hugs back*


I am super duper :D !!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

yay!!!



*turns field of blogland into marshmallow world*

Bounce away!!!

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

Lawl random much!!!!!!

U still on your i pod or can i check my blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ?????????????? i checked urs and it was awesome!!!!!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I'm on iPod I'll try though...

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

ok :D thanks !!! :D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I left a comment, will look at more later..

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

thanks :D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

No prob

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

bye !!!!!!!!!!! :D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Are u leaving?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Anybody on? I have been left alone... AGAIN!

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

hey flame im on the chat thing -would share link but ur on ur i pod, i will try to talk !!! on the blog!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ok..... Who is on?

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

me, just me, oh wait nj is there!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Can u ask her to come on here?

Tell her I sed hi!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I'm watchin paranormal activity 2 bad Idea I watched 1 last night and scared me pantless!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Thanks

Cassidy Clarimonde (Self-Appointed Grand Mage of the Scottish Sanctuary) said...

Flame nj will be right over!!

Niamhy Jay said...

Hello!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Thank u cass! *hugs*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hi nj *hugs*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

OHMYGOSH... That's hilarious, Derek, particularly if you're reading it aloud to Amanda in a room of about ten people who are practically silent. I did that. And it was, admittedly, hilarious.


*glances at story again*

Hmm... WHat if someone carved me into a pumpkin? I wonder what Tanith's pumpkin looked like... The funniest part, though, in my opinion, would probably be when it says, '"You," Sanguine said, "are delicious when your vicious."'

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ah my iPod dying.... And ivy is here....

Niamhy Jay said...

Hey Flame *hugs*
How are you?? apart from the iPod Dying

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Good... I might be able to obtain my mums laptop..

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

My dad did the coolest thing ever on Halloween for me :D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

What did he do?
Soz if I leave suddenly can't get laptop...

Niamhy Jay said...

That's okay Flame.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Yea if I got laptop cud finish fic for our blog....

Maybe later

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

My dad... *drumroll* *pauses* Wait, so you know how I was Valkyrie for Halloween?

Niamhy Jay said...

Yea, OH speaking of which i was reading over it and i did a few Grammar corrections, i hope that's okay.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi all!!!¡¡¡!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ivy my iPod is dying tell me

*taps foot*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

MY DAD WAS SKULDUGGERY FOR HALLOWEEN.

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Yeah I edit for grammar at the end...


Hi pyro iPod is dying..

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

That is so cool...

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi Flame!!!¡¡¡!!!

Niamhy Jay said...

Hey Pyro!! *hugs*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ok going to plug iPod in...

Bb in 1hour I hope...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

IT WAS AMAZING.


I'm gonna post pictures... My family was dressed as Val and Skulduggery, two very creepy looking zombies, a gypsy, and, uh, I think my brother was Johnny Thunders.

Niamhy Jay said...

Okay, Bye Flame *hugs*

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

U have a brother? How many siblings?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi NJ!!!¡¡¡!!!

Bye Flame!!!¡¡¡!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Two younger sisters named Carissa and and Jaida and then I have an older brother (he's 14, I think) named Peren.


And bye Flame!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Have you guys heard the news?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

No, why?

Niamhy Jay said...

What News??

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

News?!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Octa and Kallista are engaged!

Niamhy Jay said...

OMG!!
TELL OCTA I SAID CONGRATS!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Omg!!! I knew that would happen very soon!!! Alrite now bye!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

I will. :D

Niamhy Jay said...

Bye Flame!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Like, for real?! Out of Blogland?!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Bye Flame!!!¡¡¡!!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Me too!

Niamhy Jay said...

No not for real Ivy, the are Blog Engaged!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ok I reluctantly say bye....

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

No, blog engaged.
We do live in different continents.
There's a blog where Kal proposed.

I'll find the web address.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Ah. Bear in mind, I'm still fairly new to Blogland. I started coming in September.

Niamhy Jay said...

I Arrived on the scene at the End of April, beginning of May time. :P

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

http://purplepoetspassion.blogspot.com/

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*arches an eyebrow* It sounds like you, NJ, probably started coming here around my birthday.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

I joined in December. :D

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Me In February? I don't actually no... Maybe march...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Flame, are you leaving or not? You keep re-coming.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

You joined n March, Flame.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*remembers last night and giggles at the memory* Every little kid who saw my dad was terryfied of him XD

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Lol Ivy!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

:D My dad was wearing a skull mask that covered his whole face and there was little pieces of black fabric over the eyes and every little kid that saw him went from a normal expression to a OHMYGOSH-WHAT-IS-THAT-I-THINK-I'M-GONNA-DIE-TONITE-BECAUSE-OF-HIM-SOMEONE-HELP-ME expression.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Your dad sounds like a scary guy :D

Invisible_Fly said...

(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ┻━━┻

'sup, bros?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

What'd you expect? I'm related to him. XD And since he's a chef (head chef, actually) he has lots of knives and when he sharpens them he turns to us and says "Okay, who's dying first?" But not in a scary way, it's in a funny way, because we have an increasingly odd family.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi Fly!!!¡¡¡!!!

Have you heard the news?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*laughs evily* Derek... My mumzy's boss is named Jerry...

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi Kallista!!!¡¡¡!!!

Congratulations!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hi Kallista!!!




Oh man... I really shouldn't have eaten so much candy today...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hey guys... Guess what?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm attempting to write a novel with magic, villains, betrayal, and awesomesauce. However, it's pretty hard to write a novel when you're 12...

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

That's true, I'm nearly 14 and it's still difficult to write.

Invisible_Fly said...

Sorry guys, I was doing some stuff. What'd I miss?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Did you hear the news Fly?

Invisible_Fly said...

Why does that lamp post have a crack in it?

Invisible_Fly said...

What news, pyro?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Kallista and Octa are engaged!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

I claim this page for Kallista Pendragon and Octaboona Ambrosius!!!

To the happy couple to be!

To Octalista

A girl so kind, a boy so wise,
Amongst emerald grass and purple skies,
They stare into each other's eyes,
The perfect, perfect couple.

When they're together angels sing,
The girl presents him with a ring,
The diamond in it, dazzling,
The very best proposal.

Now down the aisle, dressed in white,
There comes Kallista, quite a sight,
Her beauty shines, a blinding light,
Pefection half completed.

She's greeted by the groom and he,
Is wonderfully good company,
They dance with joy and laugh with glee,
As man and wife, forever.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Congratulations guys!

:)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*arches an eyebrow at pyro* Nice poem.



(Derek why didn't you tell me writing was so hard?!)

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

:D

Invisible_Fly said...

Wait, what? NICE! Congratulations!

Invisible_Fly said...

I love weddings so much :3

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Posted the poem o the poets of greatness:


http://skulduggerypoetry.blogspot.com/2011/11/ode-to-octalista.html

Invisible_Fly said...

Pyro, that's such an epic poem!!!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Thanks Fly!

:D

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

That adds to the very, VERY, few amount of poems I know. Wanna hear a poem the great and fantastic ME wrote?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Yes please!

:)

Blood Butterflies said...

HELLO!

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi BB!!!¡¡¡!!!

Blood Butterflies said...

PYYYRRRROOOOO!!!!!!!! *hugs*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

well give me a minute to find it on one of the previous posts...

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Hi kallista if you are her *hugs* CONGRATZ!!!!!

Nice poem pyro *nods*

Hi bb, we haven't met have we?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Ivy you write poems? Cool.... Let me see!! Now!!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

What about me kal?? *pouts*

Blood Butterflies said...

@Flame I have seen you before on the blog :)

@Ivy HAAAAIIIIII


@everyone else MCR FTW!

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

I'm being ignored aren't I? :(

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

MCR for the win?

Flame Phoenix (Fawkes)~roleplaying said...

Lol.... I'm really good now... Bit scared though as I just watched paranormal activity 2 after watching 1 one last nite.......


*hugs* congratz.... I knew it was bound to happen....

Really? Delighted to see me?

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