Friday, December 21, 2012

The Button

This story- which I had intended to be REALLY REALLY short and funny and quirky- eventually became a little longer. And a lot less funny. But this is it.

And it will come down at midnight, Irish time, on the 22nd...



And it has now been taken down... only to reappear in the Skulduggery Pleasant Collection of short stories and novellas, available... um... some time in the spring of 2014...




5,000 comments:

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Lemony Good said...

First!

Zephr Shadows said...

just thought to check the blog. fab story!!

Zephr Shadows said...

just thought to check the blog. fab story!!

September Silver said...

Lemony, you have to ded now!
AND FOURTH!

Zathract Mist said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

September Silver said...

I wonder if Derek's still here...

September Silver said...

Hi Zath!

Iguanaofdoom said...

wooo! 7th?

September Silver said...

Actually 8th, but... I love the story BTW, just finished reading.

Emerald Melody said...

KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There goes the epicness meter... well worth it though!

Lemony Good said...

I have to ded?
And the story is pretty damn good. Poor Liam. I'm sure any novelist who can't seem to finish their own great work knows his plight very well.

Nuttermeg said...

Ah, magical world, when will you stop spewing out potential apocalypses?
Never, I hope.

editorsarticle.blogspot.com/ said...

HMMMM!

editorsarticle.blogspot.com/ said...

aha! Thursday blog post!

Conor McNeill said...

Amazing...just amazing

NJ Maverick Renn (Sigil Student of China Sorrows) said...

OMG BLOODY AMAZING!!
I <3 IT!!

Derek I have something I really need to ask you!
I know it's a long shot, but could you e-mail me??
njmaverick@hotmail.co.uk

AmericanMinionReborn >:) said...

Hahaha ive never been this high up!

Moonie said...

Fantastic!

I laughed my ass off at Valkyrie noting that they got there first. What, do you guys get a bonus for averting the end of the world before Christmas?

Emmmmmm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emmmmmm said...

So Glad I Stayed Up To Read That! Yay! I Swear If The World Ends Because The World Cracks Open I Will Die Immensely Creeped Out By That Fact!
Thank Youuuu Mister Derek :)

Zathract Mist said...

Ahahaha...

Americans. Do not mess this up. *starts laughing again*

No offense to any Ameriminions at all.

Mangoo-the-Monkey said...

That was awesome!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

"The Americans?"



Yeah, that's what I thought.


Awesome story!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I think I have the farthest time zone from Ireland in America...


I should screw something up, so then Skulduggery will have to come and save the day!

AmericanMinionReborn >:) said...

just finished! Don't worry, we'll take care of the other apocalypse threats over here in America! :)

Patrick James said...

Excellent job Derek... Been looking forward to this all week and waited up tonight to read this - well worth it. Thanks for the story.

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Near the top!

Now to go read the story

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Also, I'm not surprised that his name is Liam. My arch nemesis is named Liam.


So of COURSE he built a bomb.

And isn't Liam a goblin, anyway?

Xanna said...

Ohhhh ohhhh! Have to read it!

Kilandra Xyle said...

AWESOME!!!!!!!!

So..Derek, what's wrong with us Americans, hmmm?

Xanna said...

Oh my god! Today's the end of the world!

AmericanMinionReborn >:) said...

I think our mages will kick ass!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Today I had someone ask me if they could borrow a Skulduggery book from me because they like what I've told them about it.

Ten awesome points to me.

Zathract Mist said...

I bought one of my distant friends at school Skulduggery for Christmas and I know that two more are getting the first and second from their families as well.

YeAH.

Colleen McGuigan x said...

Oh My God.
This is absolute fabulousness.

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Oh.
My.
God.

Liam is just so perfect. I feel so sorry for him, but he managed to not press it, and he's sacrificing so much for the rest of the world, and yeah.

TWENTY THOUSAND MILLION THUMBS UP!

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Derek! What would have happened if Liam had pressed the Button?

Quintessa Moody said...

Hehe it's funny. I've been writing the number of days until this story came out on my hand, and people kept seeing it and thinking I was counting down until the world ended. "How are you preparing for it?" they keep asking. "What do you want to do before the world ends?"
Read Skulduggery Pleasant of course. Their blank faces are so funny.
Great story. I feel bad for Liam though.

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

My friend left school two days early to visit her dad in New Zealand.

She left today, the 20th in America. She'll arrive tomorrow, on the 22nd in New Zealand.

SHE'S CHEATING!

Quintessa Moody said...

For some rediculous reason, no one in my town knows about Skulduggery Pleasant (gasp). But everyone who knows me, knows it, because I pester them all the time to read it. I've gotten most of my friends hooked on the series now. Be proud of me Derek!

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Same with me Quintessa! Though I did get Jubi reading it, got Mysteria starting it, got my family reading it, and a random guy at my school just started reading it.

Quintessa Moody said...

It's tragic, isn't it Persephone? I'll mention it and when they ask what that is I can't help but stare at them and say, "You poor, stupid person. You don't know what you're missing."

lydiaconspires said...

I want to hear more about the other potential apocalypses...

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

I was at rehearsal with Jubi and Edmund (the boy who's reading them) and we were playing and improv game.
Me: Let's play Skulduggery Pleasant Improv!
Jubi and Edmund: YES!
Me (to Jubi): Miss Sorrows! I love you! Please take this as a token of my love.
Jubi: *crippling laughter* (I can't remember what she said.
Edmund: Hello, does anyone need anything tailored?
Me: No, go away Ghastly.


And it was just generally wonderful.

Alexander Mythology said...

Hi all! Bye all!

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Bye Alexander!

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

Oh, I have to go to.

Toodles!

Don't die!

Persephone Grief (The Seventh Magpie) said...

*too

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Awesome story of awesomeness.

Glad I popped by. Hello everyone!

Quintessa Moody said...

Haha Oh my that sounds so fun! I've got to try that with my friends... Hehe especially my brother, we ALWAYS do random improv scenes while people are watching. It's hilarious really.

Jubilance Glee said...

Haha awesome story! Love it!

Hi everyone btw :P

CaptainVonDelgo said...

I love it! Been looking forward to this since you told us about it!

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Or you know. It's possible that everyone just left...

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Izz!

Long time no see.

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Hi Izz! Hi Moose!

September Silver said...

I so want to do that with my friends, except NOBODY I KNOW READS SP.
We should do it here!

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Oh yes! People are here!
I wasn't sure.

Indeed I have only just been getting back on the blog recently. It's so good to be here waiting for the apocalypse with you guys.

September Silver said...

Hi Izz, Moose, and Val!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Wait, Lemony Good, if you come back... Are you the person who does the Skul-man comics?

September Silver said...

Weeble. Weeble. Weeble.

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I know lots of people who read SP, because I forced them to.

I made my friend Emily read it, so when she asked what character she could be, I said Mr Bliss. And I drew a really buff shirtless guy on her Christmas card and said it was her.

Zathract Mist said...

Silver, do not call me Moose...

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Also. An update from me.
three of the electric windows in our car just stopped working today. Definitely the end of the world.

Jubilance Glee said...

I finally got my friend reading the books... she's been on the first one for almsot 2 weeks now though...
Her excuse is homework, but I don't buy it

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

*does victory dance*

Concert in...

*checks*

1 and a half hours!

Nixion Strange said...

That was great, as always Derek

Nixion Strange said...

MSD

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Nix, where'd your picture go?

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Nix!

Nixion Strange said...

Ah, that's better

Emerald Melody said...

Howdy everyone!

Anyone got any bombs handy... a few werewolves I have to kill.

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Hey Nix

Nixion Strange said...

PEOPLE
Hi Val!
Hi Mist!
Hi Em!
Hi Izz! Haven't seen you in ages

Zathract Mist said...

*murmurs about people never checking Dashboards anymore*

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

DEREK CHANGED IT! HE EDITED IT IN THE LAST HALF HOUR OR SOMETHING!

HAHAHA, DEREK, I FIGURED IT OUT!

YOU STALKER! YOU MUST BE WATCHING THE COMMENTS TOO, THEN!



*reads over comment*


Um, okay, I'm crazy.

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

*salutes*

Just thinking everyone should know I'm high on Doctor Who.
About a week ago I got series 1-6 on DVD. I've been watching an average of three a day and bananas are a good source of potassium!

Emerald Melody said...

How are we all on this apocalyptic morning??

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Izz, right now I'm wearing a black shirt with a grey TARDIS outline and on the inside it says "RULE #1: THE DOCTOR LIES".

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Nice Val. Very nice.

What were you talking about before? With the whole edited thing?

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

It's only about 6 PM here on the 20th...

Timezones are weird.

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

It used to say, “I can barely hook my phone up to the internet- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”


But NOW, it says, “I can barely work out how to make a call on my own phone- why do you think I know how to destroy the planet? This is ridiculous. Please leave me alone.”

Emerald Melody said...

Oh it's still my birthday there Val lol that is so weird!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

It's my sister's birthday too :D

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

They most certainly are. Everyone on Tumblr is asking the Aussies about the end of the world. Everyone forgets that the kiwis would have experienced it first.

I find that amusing.
But Queen Victoria probably isn't amused.

Nixion Strange said...

Waitin' for the zombies... Waiting for the zombies...

Oh, I heard the funniest damn thing. There are people betting on how the world will end today
*facepalm*
If they're right, and it does end, How do they collect their money?!

There was this one guy in the newspaper that said he hoped they paid before the apocolypse
...
*doublefacepalm*

Zathract Mist said...

People are weird.

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

He did that a while ago. It was there when I read it.

Nixion Strange said...

People are stupid

Zathract Mist said...

It wasn't there when I read it. It was still the internet.

DEREK. Y U EDIT STORY?

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

I don't know what to have for lunch...

I mean. I know bananas are great and all but not everyone keeps fruit in their dressing gowns.

I don't know what to have.

Thrust Ominous said...

BOTTONN!!!

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Thrust!

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

OH MY GOD I JUST REMEMBERED!

I NEED TO COVER MY HEAD IN FOIL SO THE ALIENS CAN'T READ MY MIND!

brc

Sabrina Cheng said...

21:00 12/20
Then end of the world is tomarrow... damn timezone. I don't live anywhere near Ireland

Thrust Ominous said...

Oh God, none of our comments will be saved.

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Ok I'm good now. I looked a bit stupid a t first but now I've managed to line the inside of my cool fedora with foil. Now I'm prepared.

Still need lunch though...

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Oh sh*t you're all dead aren't you?

Emerald Melody said...

No I'm trying not to kill my characters off...

It's a very patient process lol

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

Ah well.
That's alright then. I think.
Poor characters.

Thrust Ominous said...

I am, but but that doesn't mean I can't use the bathroom.

Lorelei Izabell Fetch (AKA Izz) said...

I should probably go anyway.
Need food and Who.

Auf wiedersehen alle!

Zathract Mist said...

Bye Izz!

Yes I am dead.

Eve the ROCK said...

:)

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Excellent!

Americans mess it up? Hmm? What is THAT supposed to mean, Derek?

Kilandra Xyle said...

THATS WHAT I SAID!

Kestrel LeStarre said...

I know. I read the comments...

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Also, my dad is cured! 'Twas Zeppelin and The Who in the car.

Nixion Strange said...

Damn internet

Lucinda Hail said...

Oh dear God, i've been waiting for this short story and I'm so happy it's here!!

Kestrel LeStarre said...

My comment poofed... I said:

Hi Nix! What did the Internet ever do you, hmmmm?

Also, hi Lucinda!

Fiona Valkyrie said...

See, I was smart and copied and pasted into a Word Document so I can read later. Don't worry, this won't be sold for money, I always make sure to advertise the Skul-bug books when my friends are looking for new reads! So I won't do anything illegal with this :-) Just glad that I can now cherish this story forever. Merry Christmas to me! XD Thank you for the new story, Derek, I'm really excited to read it when I get the chance!

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Hi Fiona!

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Actually, that's not a bad idea...

*copy and pastes into Notes*

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Anyone?

Bethany said...

brilliantly written as always. just wish we'd found out who planted the idea and how it came to be.

Jubilance Glee said...

Hey everyone!

Kestrel LeStarre said...

Hi!

Distant, YouTubing.

Xanthe Grey said...

Wow, that story really was serious. I never would have thought skulduggery was capable of such a sensible conversation. Oh well I guess he must have been tired after saving the world eight times in the one day... and I haven't even gotten any of my homework done...

September Silver said...

Homework? WHY?

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

This was absolutely brilliant, Derek. This story put more visualisation in my head than any other SP book. And I look forward to the Tanith Low novella coming out in March. I've already pre-orded it on my Kindle. (e-book)

September Silver said...

Hey, guys, I'm being made to do a Serpine/Mevolent and I don't know what to call the pairing? Should it be Servolent or Merpine?

Nixion Strange said...

Hey, it's spelt Benct

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

Hello?

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

I'm talking about PewDiePie's Bengt. From Lucius.

Calidae Dark said...

Its amazing.
YAY.
FINALLY.

Calidae Dark said...

Hello everyone that is on.
Valsnacks all round!! * makes it start raining valsnacks *

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

I prefer this more than KOTW. Which is my second favourite book. Well, third now. Dark Days is my fave. Because it really gives a sense of the deep love Val has for Skulduggery, and what lengths she'll go to for him. And it brings out her independence.

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

Calidae, are you Jaden's brother?

[I made a character called Jaden Dark]

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

Hello?

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

Don't press the big red button...

Jubilance Glee said...

Hi!

Nixion Strange said...

I know. It's spelt Benct

Calidae Dark said...

Err.... Bengt, I have never heard of him. Maybe we're long lost siblings.

Bengt the Beach Ball said...

Hi. My name is Connor Trinton. My abilities are that I can control all liquids. Even blood inside people

Calidae Dark said...

Right, well, thats a teeny tiny bit disturbing.

Nice to meet you!

Jubilance Glee said...

Oooooh! so it's kinda like water bending from Avatar: Last Airbender?

Nixion Strange said...

I thought you were an elemental?

Calidae Dark said...

Jubilance, are you refering to the movie or the cartoon series?

Jubilance Glee said...

CARTOON! THE MOVIE FAILED EPICALLY

Calidae Dark said...

I KNOW RIGHT!!
Im so angry at them.
ITS UNFAIR.

Thrust Ominous said...

I didn't dare watch the movie.

Jubilance Glee said...

Cali, I jst wanted to go up to M. Night Shamallama, or whatevr his name is, and kill him... painfully

Calidae Dark said...

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
But, he is known for making AWFUL movies, except for one, I think...



Jubilance Glee said...

Haha yea... That's why they kept on saying it was produced/directed or whatever by him... cuz he apperently did a good job on something...

but this one just crossed the line of horrible movies... I don't think I've ever been more dissapointed EVER...
not ever for Harry Potter HBP

Jubilance Glee said...

Sorry... I'm ranting...

:P

Calidae Dark said...

I dont know how he's still making movies. Are people BLIND!?

WHY!!!

But yes. Its called the sixth sense of something, I cant remember, I havent seen it...

Calidae Dark said...

I always rant.
Its annoying, even for me.

Calidae Dark said...

Sorry, just read a story about the DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL on stuff.co.nz.

Its an NZ site.

Lauren Dorchadas said...

GAHH OMG THE SHORT STORY!!1 *fangirls*

Jubilance Glee said...

haha!

Calidae Dark said...

IT IS AMAZING

Jubilance Glee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jubilance Glee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jubilance Glee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Calidae Dark said...

I expected it to be fantastic - I wasnt let down :)

Jubilance Glee said...

haha
It was really awesome :)
*yawn* I'm tired...

StephenCroucher said...

THAT WAS AWESOME

Jubilance Glee said...

I loved the ending :P

Calidae Dark said...

Yeah :)
Only thing is, I do enjoy a good fight scene. Or something with a bit more laugh out loud Skulduggery-Valkyrie conversations.

BUT it is still AMAZING.

Lauren Dorchadas said...

Now I want to know about the eight other potential aapocalypses..

That was fantastic Derek!

Jubilance Glee said...

Haha yes!
Derek! You should make other short stories about the other apocalypses that could've happened!

Calidae Dark said...

Please!

September Silver said...

Hello universe. Am I alone right now? Yes? Well then.

MYCROFT IS AWESOME!!!!!! *echoes*

Calidae Dark said...

Though, the more time he spends writing short stories, the less time he spends writing book 8....

Jubilance Glee said...

Mycroft? is in Sherlock?

Jubilance Glee said...

Cali, Yeah.... good point

Calidae Dark said...

And, Derek does have a life. Hes probably busy enjoying christmas. And eating, and stuff.

Rosella Embers said...

My goodness...
Just when I thought things couldn't get any more epic!
Magnificent story, Derek! You'll be pleased to know that it is the 22nd, at 4:06pm in Australia and so far the world hasn't ended. Personally, I never thought it would, but I'm glad to hear that Skulduggery and Val's continuing efforts to prevent the apocalypse have proved successful.
Anyway, thank younger posting such an epic story! Glad to hear from you again, master Derek, and your story has broken the epica-o-meter yet again. (as always, I suppose)
Thank you for posting!

September Silver said...

Yep. As in Sherlock.

September Silver said...

And hello, miss Rosella! I'm Ember.

Calidae Dark said...

umm, no offense Rosella, but its not the 22nd.

Calidae Dark said...

Oh yeah, and HI!
Im Calidae :)

September Silver said...

Normally, I would be Silver, but I met another Silver, who's now my twin, so I'm now Ember.

Jubilance Glee said...

Haha Mycroft is pretty awesome...

But he's also really... Mycrofty...
There's realy no other word for him
haha

September Silver said...

Really Mycrofty... Yeah, I think that should be put in the dictionary.

Calidae Dark said...

He is AWESOME.
And hilarious.
And mad.

September Silver said...

Isn't he lovely? Isn't he wonderful? Isn't he precious? I know he is. Less than a minute old, but not really, because that would be weird.

Jubilance Glee said...

Yes!
Mycrofty
(MHY-krof-tee)
Verb
to act like Mycroft

September Silver said...

If you know where that came from, you get ten bonus points, which means absolutely nothing.

September Silver said...

I thought Mycrofty was an adjective?

September Silver said...

The verb would be Mycroftiate.

Jubilance Glee said...

Oh yea... haha there's my grammar knowledge for you...

September Silver said...

No, I think I'm Mycroftiating right now anyway. I think it deserves a capital letter, btw.

Jubilance Glee said...

We'll have to create this word and then send it to the Oxford people to get it published in the dictionary...
xD :P
haha

Calidae Dark said...

THAT would be funny.

September Silver said...

EXACTLY!
You know, the other day I was trying to do Mycroft's umbrella swing thing, and 1. I whacked my nose really hard and 2. The umbrella flew across the room and everyone looked at me.

Jubilance Glee said...

HAHA! i just don't even try... I know that i'm gonna mess up if I do... n that'd be reeally awkward...
haha

September Silver said...

I have been trying for about three days now. IT'S NOT WORKING! I will write Mark Gatiss a long letter asking him for instructions.

Calidae Dark said...

Smooth, Ember. Real smooth.

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!



My concert was successful. I didn't trip on my face once.

September Silver said...

Isn't it just?

September Silver said...

HI VALKYRIE!!!!!

Do you know how to do Mycroft's umbrella thing?

And congratulations!

Calidae Dark said...

Hey Val :)

Jubilance Glee said...

haha
Hi Valkyrie!
n Congratulations...! I think...?

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

I had to play two instruments for my concert... Cello and viola.


BECAUSE I'M JUST SO AWESOME.

My grandpa didn't even recognise me when I walked past him because I was - and still am - all dressy.

September Silver said...

Valkyrie, are you still there?

September Silver said...

Oh, you are, sorry.

IPLAY THE VIOLIN TOO! HIGH VIRTUAL FIVE!

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

HIGH VIRTUAL FIVE BACK!

Calidae Dark said...

She said viola :P

Valkyrie V. Cain said...

Close enough.

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